The impact of the menopause on our day to day life

Let's be completely frank here. Menopausal symptoms can range from the odd power surge mid convo to debilitating anxiety which stops you leaving the house, doubting your ability to do just about anything and ruining your day or a long awaited social event - or even your relationship.
The range and severity of menopausal symptoms and their effect is so varied that there's rarely two people who go through the exact same experience. 

So this brings us to question exactly how the menopause could possibly impact on someone so severely that it changes their life, their lifestyle, their career, relationship, wellbeing or their physical health. We're not pulling any punches when we say strap yourself, it will be a bumpier ride for some more than others!

The mental and emotional changes. 

As we move through the menopause and our usual hormone levels begin to shift, this can change our ability to think clearly, rationalise, retain information and to feel calm and consistent in our moods. The constant fluctuation and gradual decline of our hormones can cause us to feel completely "A OK" one day, and an exhausted emotional wreck the next. 
What might feel like a constant cycle of feeling up one day and down the next can begin to affect you at home, at work, with friends or with your partner. You might feel close to tears while you're out shopping, watching the news, as soon as you notice your partner's left the toilet seat up again or because you feel you're beginning to catastrophize more often than not. Some of us might even have sat alone in the car for an hour on many occasions, feeling unable to go back home/not wanting to go home. Just sitting there with the engine off, staring into an empty carpark,  ( we're no different  to anyone else x).
Doing the same job you've done for ten/twenty years but forgetting to do things, having to make lists, worrying about how you're perceived by others and feeling less confident in your overall abilities can change how you view your career and cause you to reflect on what and where you want to spend the rest of your working life. 
While you might once have relished the idea of an afternoon/night of lust and passion, your desire might feel as though it's vanished almost overnight. Although you might still cherish and adore your partner, initiating or being on the receiving end of their sexual advances might fill some women with dread and cause you to avoid interactions or creating situations where sex might occur. 

The physical changes.

While you might once have been a consistent size 12-14 who could burn off 4 slices of pizza and a cheeky slice of  garlic bread in less than a week, the menopause will bring some new challenges when it comes to losing weight, keeping it off and retaining the shape you fondly remember.
It's common for women to gain weight during the menopause, especially around the tum area, the thighs, hips and bottom as our body clings onto oestrogen within fat cells and when female fat distribution typically gathers in those specific areas. 
Of course, this can then impact on our body image; how we feel about our changing shape, femininity, desirability, physical capability and the impact of extra weight on our current and future health.
Lack of sleep has a knock on effect on energy, motivation and the ability to think clearly the next day, so finding the drive to begin to lose weight or attend fitness classes can be a huge ask for some people.
Waking up during the night either because of night time sweats, anxiety, to go to the loo or ruminating and overthinking about the day ahead reduces the amount of quality sleep you're getting and prevents your body from gaining essential, quality, restorative rest.
Dry skin, dry vagina, regular vaginal and bladder infections, itchy skin and hair loss are commonly reported by women at this time and are often due to us having less oestrogen in the skin, vulvovaginal tissues and within hair follicles although it's really important to rule out other causes at this time like vitamin deficiencies or disorders such as an underactive/overactive thyroid for example. We can still develop other conditions alongside the menopause so be mindful. Check your breasts monthly ( check all around the armpit and collarbone )  and go for those smears and mammograms when you get the letter.

So, where do we even begin to untangle all of this? How do we "fix" this?

Fear not - this is not the end of us! 
The menopause isn't something to fear or prevent. It will inevitably happen to every woman, so knowing what to expect, preparing for it and arming yourself with everything you need will help you to manage, adjust and accept the changes. (It might also save you a lot of time sitting alone in the car in the middle of an empty carpark and get you back a lot quicker to where you feel happiest, safe and content).

For many, it can actually be a time to reflect on your life and consider making some long overdue changes. Whether that's to your career, your current job role, your lifestyle, your surroundings or even to your relationship - it's an opportunity to make some positive changes that can help you become unstuck from the habits, situations or people who are negatively impacting on your health and wellbeing.

Of course, you might choose not to make any changes at all, and that's absolutely fine. Just remember, that with age comes the potential for new age-related illness - so being in better health now can help prevent some conditions worsening or even from developing.

It's often by using a combination of treatments, making better nutritional choices, reducing stress or managing it differently, avoiding triggers that change your mood, reduce your sleep or encourage you to overeat/use alcohol - can all work together to keep you in better mental, emotional and physical health.
It's rare that one thing alone will fix everything we need it to.
Every day we hear about the benefits from HRT, but HRT on it's own rarely addresses all of the complex layers we each have that makes us "us".  Yes, the scientific evidence that we have all points towards it's preventative and protective effects on our heart, bones and the brain, but annoyingly it won't "fix" everything.  If you're lucky enough to be medically eligible to use HRT, look around at where else there might be room to improve.

Finding it hard to doze off? Remember how nice it feels to sleep with clean sheets on the bed after a relaxing bath? You might even like to try some magnesium glycinate an hour or so before bedtime to see if it helps , or avoid drinking liquids after 8pm or taking your phone to bed with you which usually just encourages hours of scrolling. 
Lost your motivation? Make small changes. We rarely keep to the big promises we make to ourselves, so try making some tiny, do-able changes that make you feel better once you've done them. That extra few blocks you walked with the dog, resisting the daily crisps/biscuits or just giving yourself a half hour every day to do nothing - small, realistic changes will help move you away from that perpetual "can't be bothered" mode and gradually help you feel more motivated to use your time more positively. ( The odd biscuit is absolutely fine. No one ever died from having a biscuit once in a while - but don't quote us on that! )
Just not feeling it with your partner? Try to keep the spark alive without putting added pressure on yourself. Sometimes, people just need to feel wanted, seen, appreciated rather than having the sex they used to have. Holding hands, laughing together, just doing things that you both enjoy outwith any sexual element is realistically the kind of things that people do most often when things have perhaps cooled off in the bedroom. These are the small, non-sexy, unplanned, unpredictable things which can help keep a relationship going even if your desire is no longer what it used to be. Think about counselling, treatments to help relieve and improve  physical symptoms which have prevented you wanting sex, conversations with your partner if you're able to have them, or tapping into completely new things which are fun to do, make you feel good and that bring back some joy in your life again. 
Struggling to keep a lid on how your symptoms affect you at work? Did you know there's an Act which is there to ensure you're treated fairly at work? In terms of the menopause, this includes ensuring that your employer has to make reasonable adjustments to enable you to work more comfortably (think more flexible working, fans, access to loo breaks, hydration or adapted work stations).

Menopause doesn't have to be the big event that no one wants to go to. With the right care, knowledge, reliable treatments and support you can come through it without it negatively impacting on your life - and you might not even have to sit alone in a carpark staring out the window, once!

If you'd like help and support to navigate your menopausal symptoms and the effect they're having on you, you can book in for a consultation with us by clicking on this link.