Perimenopause and menopause and the moments no one sees
There are parts of menopause that never make it into leaflets or clinic rooms. The quiet moments. The private moments. The ones you carry alone because you are not sure how to explain them, or because you worry they sound too small, too dramatic or too strange to say out loud.
These are the moments no one sees.
The moment you stand in the shower, letting the water run over you, trying to remember what it felt like to wake up with energy.
The moment you snap at someone you love, then sit with the guilt long after they have forgotten the conversation.
The moment you lie awake at three in the morning, your mind racing, your heart thudding, wondering why your body feels unfamiliar and unpredictable.
The moment you stare at your wardrobe, overwhelmed by the simple task of getting dressed, because nothing feels comfortable on your skin anymore.
The moment you feel tears rising for no clear reason, and you swallow them down because you do not want to seem dramatic or fragile.
The moment you can't remember if you put the washing pod in the washing machine so you have to haul all the clothes out - only to find you did.
The moment your partner wants to be intimate, yet your desire has faded and you cannot find the spark you used to feel.
The moment you look in the mirror and think, I know that woman… but I do not quite recognise her today.
These moments are real. They happen far more often than people realise. And yet they are rarely spoken about.
Menopause is not simply a list of symptoms. It is a shift in identity, in energy, in confidence and in how resilient you feel day to day. It arrives while life carries on at full pace. Work to manage. People to care for. Family pressures that never seem to ease. The invisible load women carry does not stop just because hormones begin to change.
And so much of this happens quietly, behind closed doors.
Here is the truth. You are not failing. You are not weak. You are not imagining any of it. You are moving through one of the most significant transitions of your life, and you are doing it while keeping everything else afloat.
Menopause deserves to be understood, not brushed aside. You deserve support, not silence. And those moments no one sees - they matter. They are part of your experience, but they do not define who you are.
With the right care, the right information and a good dose of compassion, especially towards yourself, this stage of life can be genuinely transformative.
You are not alone in the moments no one sees. Many women are walking this path quietly alongside you, and every one of them deserves to feel heard.
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